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"if we do not have a deep sense of our true identity, if our basic sense of self comes from other people, we may develop a view of life based on scarcity rather than charity or abundance. A scarcity mentality is the tendency to define oneself in terms of being better than, or not as good as, another person. It involves the idea that there is only so much to go around, as if there were only one pie out there, and if someone gets a big piece of the pie, that means there is less for everyone else. People with a scarcity mentality have a difficult time being genuinely happy for the successes of others, even family members or close friends. When they see another person receive special recognition or good fortune, it's almost as if something is being taken away from them. They might verbally express happiness for the other person's success, but inwardly they are eating their hearts out, and they know it. Sometimes they even harbor a secret delight in hearing about the misfortunes or weaknesses of others, especially those whom others may have regarded as heroes. They're always competing, always comparing."