"Roaring filled my ears, and I staggered backward. I did this. I’d brought these monsters into our lives. I’d killed Eli, and now Nate had paid the price for it. Because of my actions, the person who had always loved me, the one I should have kept safe, was gone. Grief suffocated me and I gasped for breath, even as I wished it would kill me so I didn’t have to live with this pain. My legs buckled and someone caught me from behind. “I’m here, malyutka,” Nikolas said against my hair. I stiffened and tried to pull away from him. Nate was gone because of me; I did not deserve to be held or comforted. Nikolas had warned me I was going to get Nate or one of my friends killed if I wasn’t careful. How could he stomach being near me, knowing what I’d done? Instead of letting me go, he pulled me closer, whispering words I couldn’t make out over the pounding of blood in my ears. It was futile to struggle against him, so I stopped and stood woodenly in his arms, waiting for what I knew was to come."

- Refuge