"28. Shakespeare said, "Kill all the lawyers." There were no agents then. 27. Carpe per diem - seize the check. 26. After I quit drinking, I realized I am the same asshole I always was; I just have fewer dents in my car. 25. The Swiss, ya! The Geneva Convention. If there's ever a nuclear war, they will be the only people going: "Vhat was that noise?" In their big hollowed up country, with their chocolate and their watches. Ya! The nice Germans. Ya! Or, as they like to say, "the other white race." I have only one question: How can you trust an army, that has a wine opener on its knife? 24. I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund. 23. The manly sport of golf, where you can dress like a pimp and no one will care. 22. I love running cross country... On a track, I feel like a hamster. 21. Jesus was an only child. Thank God! Who would want to be Jerry, the brother of Christ? That's a tough gig. "Come on, Jerry, we're going to the beach." Jesus's gonna walk on the water, feed everybody, heal them and get a whole bunch of disciples. I'll sit there with a rash and sand in my ass. Great day for me! "

- Robin Williams